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REDNECK MEDICAL TERMS

Benign.............What you be after you be eight.
Artery.............The study of paintings.
Bacteria...........The back door to a cafeteria.
Barium.............What doctors do when patient dies.
Catscan............Searching for the kitty.
Cauterize..........Made eye contact with her.
Colic................A sheep dog.
Coma...............A punctuation mark.
D&C................Where Washington is.
Dilate...............Live longer.
Enema..............Not a friend.
Fester..............Quicker than someone else.
Fibula...............A small lie.
Genital..............Non-Jewish person.
Hangnail............What you hang your coat on.
Impotent............Distinguished, well known.
Labor pain..........Getting hurt at work.
Morbid..............A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates............Cheaper than day rates.
Node................I knew it.
Outpatient ........A person who has fainted.
Pap smear..........A fatherhood test.
Rectum..............Dam near killed him.
Secretion...........Hiding something.
Terminal Illness....Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor ..............More than one.
Urine ...............Opposite of you're out.
Varicose.............Near by or close by.
Recovery Room......Place to do upholstery.
Tablet...............A small table.


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